Acme Klein Bottle

2022-03-03

Acme Klein Bottles designed and sold by Cliff Stoll

A glass klein bottle. It has graduated scale markings; all the values are 0 mL.

"At last, Acme Klein Bottle has conquered topological and engineering frontiers to manufacture genuine glass Klein bottles. These are the finest closed, non-orientable, boundary-free manifolds sold anywhere in our three spatial dimensions. These elegant bottles make splendid gifts, outstanding classroom displays, and inferior mouse-traps."

A glass wine bottle shaped like a wine carafe.

The Wine Bottle Klein Bottle: "As impractical as it is elegant."
"Guaranteed to frustrate even the most dedicated wine connoisseur."

Cliff Stoll holding two oversized klein bottles and grinning enormously.

From the Cartoons, Limericks, poems, haiku section:

"To add to dimensions one more,
You just square what you had before.
So if I've got it straight
That the strip's figure-eight,
Is Klein's figure then sixty-four?"

- -s-p-e-c-t-r-u-m-

A Klein bottle shaped like a drinking mug. It has some red liquid in it.

The Klein Stein: "THIS IS NOT A GOOD DRINKING GLASS! It's difficult to get liquids in. Difficult to get liquids out. It's difficult to clean. (it's also difficult to make, if that's any consolation. ) Please treat it as a mathematical curiousity rather than a practical cup."

A lineup of seven varieties of klein bottles.

"WARNING! Acme constructs each Klein Bottle from genuine Baryonic matter. Do not allow your Acme Klein Bottle to come in contact with antimatter or unpredictable results may occur. Acme cannot guarantee the dimensionality of the result."